theirlawyer | [For Shadow]

Current Mood: anxious

[For Shadow]

Ainsley normally had issues with saying too much and not stopping soon enough and going on and on and on and now, to her horrible surprise, it seemed like not only was she talking entirely too much, but she was also telling the truth. And while that wasn't so bad around people who already knew her political and personal leanings, there was a teensy, tiny, little problem.

That happened to be her personal life.

And oh, God, she was so not looking forward to any of those questions. It wasn't as if she wanted to hide, either. That would just make her look more guilty as she'd grown used to seeing certain people every day, especially now that she lived in a hut far, far closer to them.

Like a certain man she happened to be dating. There was that issue, of course.

Oh dear God in heaven, why couldn't Ainsley have just been struck mute?

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"It is, yes," she agreed, glad to have heard that yes, he was scared and he wasn't perfect because while what he was doing was admirable, Ainsley just wanted to know that he wasn't too perfect, that one day, he wouldn't think her unworthy of his sheer perfection and incredibleness. "You're both doing an amazing job," she swore. "Karen is lucky to have men like you in her life."

She lifted his hand to punctuate that with a kiss to his knuckles while waiting for the next question.

At the kiss, he smiled and then squeezed her hand again. This was fine, so far. This was nothing to be concerned about.

"What sort of things do you want?"

It was almost scarily open-ended.

Ainsley's mouth went dry and she opened her lips and before she could even warn him, things that were previously only in her mind and on diary pages began to fill the air. "I thought I'd be married by thirty-five. Have a child by thirty-eight. By forty, I was hoping to be appointed Counsel to the White House and possibly running a campaign by forty-three," she listed. "I'd work my way back into law and become a judge by forty-five and then by the time I was fifty-five, I'd make it onto the Supreme Court by way of a Republican nomination that would sail through the court."

"And yes. Yes, I did have this all planned out and I was thirty-three when I got here and I had been on track at home. Maybe I didn't have the guy, but I had the options and I had the plans," she insisted.

"Okay."

Shadow had never really wanted things, not like that. It was something that Laura's mom had harped on constantly, that he was an unambitious sloth of a man. Maybe in the face of Ainsley it was true. But he just put his arm around her and held her close as he nodded again. "Okay."

Ainsley went with him, but she was frozen and still, incredibly unresponsive in the face of saying so much and spilling it out like that and so she just stood there, for once in her life, speechless.

It took him a moment and then he looked at her steadily and vaguely concerned.

After a few seconds, he touched her once and asked gently. "What's the matter?"

"I'm feeling incredibly panicky and very uncomfortable right now," she admitted, blinking rapidly as she stared up at him. "I don't say this because that was home, this should be now, it should be now and I should have new plans, but I don't. I've been here two years and I still don't have new plans and I am sorry for that," she bluntly remarked.

"This isn't really a place for plans," Shadow pointed out but didn't quite know what to do in the face of a panicking Ainsley. He swallowed and shook his head. "It doesn't mean this isn't your home. Here, ah, where do you see yourself in five years?"

She took a deep breath and stared up at him with wide eyes. "If by some stroke of fate, I'm here five years later, I want to be with someone I love." She took a deep breath and this one, she felt she owed him. "Someone like you."

Shadow looked back at her steadily and something in his chest twisted at the look in her eyes as she said it. ""I would like that," he told her, even t hough that wasn't nearly accurate, that didn't come close to describing it.

"That's waht I want out of five years on too. And a ten-year-old Karen. A quiet life."

Ainsley gave a nervous laugh at that, imagining Karen at ten years old and she couldn't see her changing that much, in terms of personality. There was something though, that she needed to say, out and out.

She took hold of his other hand, ceasing their walking and looked up at him. "Shadow," she started, soft and sure. "I love you."

Shadow grinned at that and leaned down to kiss her against her mouth then pulled back enough to look at her with his free hand still cupping her cheek.

"I love you." It was a theory of Shadow's that adding 'too' to the end of it just detracted from the sentiment, somehow. "I do. I have. This is not a compulsive honesty thing."

"I wouldn't mind if it was," she promised, the tones of relief ringing through her voice and a bubbled laugh came out as she leaned up on her toes and kissed him, harder than the one before, throwing her arms around his neck for support as she leaned all the way up.

Shadow caught her up easily and bent down to meet her mouth eagerly. Smiling against her mouth, he kissed her back deeply.

It was a movie-ending kiss, James Bond with the heroine necking on the beach as the space craft burns in the background. In this case, Shadow wasn't exactly sure who was the secret agent and who was the eye candy, but either way he didn't care.

Ainsley let her eyes flutter shut as he kissed her back and she was glad that she'd stopped caring about public perception so many months back. When she had to breathe, she eased back, licking her lips and tasting him and she liked it. Did she ever like it.

"I think between that kiss and all the panic, today is starting to come out evenly," she said.

He smiled at her but still didn't pull away by much. "Truth-telling doesn't seem so bad now, no," Shadow agreed easily.

"You've got another question chance, if we're still playing that game."

Ainsley took a deep breath and kept close as she collected herself, pressing her lips together as she thought. "Would you choose to stay here? If that were an option?"

"I would stay here." His voice was quiet but sure. "There's nothing for me back home, not anymore. Here there is."

She sighed, again in relief. It had been the answer she wanted and she'd already known it, somewhere deep down. It was just nice to hear it aloud. "I'm glad," Ainsley admitted. "I honestly don't know what I'd choose. Home is home, but here...I've found things here I never thought I could have."

Shadow nodded in agreement and ducked his head, still pretty sure he was smiling like a goofball.

After a moment, he asked her. "Are you happy here?"

"Incredibly," she exhaled the word without a single moment of doubt and she smiled, happy to get to say that. "And a lot of that has to do with you, you know," she pointed out.

Shadow smiled at her with warm gray eyes. And, yeah, the fact that he knew she was being absolutely.truthful helped too.

"Yeah? Good. Good. Me too."

Ainsley exhaled and her mouth formed a perfect 'o' as she beamed at him. "So, do you want to keep walking or should we just go home at this point?"

"I want to go home. If going home also includes sex with you, because at the moment, I would really, really like to." He paused and then flushed as he scratched his hand over his head. "And that last bit wasn't supposed to come out, so...bear that in mind."

Ainsley couldn't help her broad grin. "Well, I do think that on this occasion, having sex would solidify the words we've exchanged. It's ritualistic, almost, and very much deserved," she continued, truthfully. "Shadow, wanna go home to my place and have sex?" she offered.

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